


Black Canvas

by AsheTarasovich (natalieashe), Boffin1710, natalieashe



Series: Can't Drown My Demons, They Know How To Swim [1]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: Gen, Helpless but Determined, Insomnia, dealing with grief, distraction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 19:07:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6717577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natalieashe/pseuds/AsheTarasovich, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Boffin1710/pseuds/Boffin1710, https://archiveofourown.org/users/natalieashe/pseuds/natalieashe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Soon after the destruction of MI6, and the death of his mentor, Q is promoted to the role of Quartermaster.  Realising he now belongs to MI6 completely, unable to walk away and grieving for the man he has replaced, Q is unable to sleep...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Black Canvas

 

 

He assumes that the problem is that he bloody thinks too much, which is probably true, because his mind does just that, running wild no matter what, despite everything he attempts to slow it down, keep it occupied or drown things out. He can’t seem to partition the thoughts in his head. Delete the ones that are consuming him. So he's grateful when his room is pitch velvet black, music blaring in his headphones. In some ways this doesn't make sense, shouldn't make sense, this depriving of one sense and over stimulating with another. Shouldn’t in any way help him fall asleep, but it does... sometimes. It's probably caused by the 'working mode' when he's coding, writing some shite report or budgetary calculations, and more than likely brought on by the visual stimulation of the glare of his computer monitor. Whatever it is that makes his brain work overtime, having anything even remotely bright and fluorescent around definitely stops him from sleeping.

It’s two am and he has to get up at five am... and he can't sleep. Sleep is haunting him, mocking him… and oh so avoiding him completely. Earlier he tried getting some work done, but it was too hard because he keeps getting distracted. He can't focus on things properly and it becomes an utter cock up.

But maybe, if he had a proper focus, he could concentrate long enough to do just one thing... Right? Maybe?

Sighing, he opens up his laptop again, logs on with a few quick keystrokes and stares at the screen.

Screwing his eyes up tight one more desperate time, wishing for sleep in a tad. And when he doesn't find it once more, cracks each slender fingers one by one (who cares if he'll get arthritis, they're his bloody fingers anyway) and sets to work.

It's a sign of how exhausted he must be that the streams of characters are calming, rather than eliciting the usual excitement of a challenge. Or maybe his computer, programs and codes have become more of a home than his own bloody body.

Whatever the reason, he falls into the work, lets his fingers fly across the keyboard as his mind roams, slipping in and out of sanity as the lights from outside world flash on the walls of his bedroom, his eyes and his mind.  
Somehow, he does it. Finishes it. He presses a button and suddenly everything is delightfully, blissfully, comforting dark.

There are no lights flashing outside. Nothing, absolutely no brightness around, nothing glowing except for his laptop screen, which he has the power to close and does so.

It's so dark that even when his eyes are open there is no difference to them being closed. Even when his glasses have been cast aside and his head is lying on the pillow, there is nothing. Nothing but a black canvas and a slow steady beat in his ears.

Nothing.  
  
He wakes, rested and at ease.

Q tries to put the ghastly memory out of his mind.

Boothroyd is dead now. The man who took him in, taught him so much, one of the few people to take enough notice of things, to do something to help him, is gone.

 


End file.
